hotel room ftw
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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