If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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