His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I looked at my own cervix.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize