i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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