So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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