That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
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I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
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Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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