the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My vagina is officially offended.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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