i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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