Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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