maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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