I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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