Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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