She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize