i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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