I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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