he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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