I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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