I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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