Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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