Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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