i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
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I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
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Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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