The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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