Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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