We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
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The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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