I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
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