Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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