I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize