the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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