Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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