There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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