when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize