Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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