So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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