If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
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I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
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I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize