Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
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And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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