My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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