I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
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How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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