You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize