He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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