You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize