Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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