My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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