Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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