And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize