brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize