Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize