She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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