my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
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