I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize