Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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